It’s so nice and refreshing reading things from a grooms perspective. Keep reading if you want to know how a groom feels after getting married.
One of the main things I get asked since getting married is “does it feel any different?”, as in does being married mean the relationship is any different?
Now this may come as a surprise to some of the diehard men that claim marriage does not change you, as evidenced by them being resident at every possible occasion such as Ted’s leaving drinks (when he never worked with him let alone knew him before a week ago), but sadly they are married to the wrong people – as it does feel different. I just did not see it to start with.
So how did I realise this? or accept it even? Well it happened when I found myself on a Stag Do in the middle of Manchester at a pub where the women walked passed with a glass asking for donations and seemed to lose their clothes (I say this in the sense that even calling it underwear would be pushing it) every 15 minutes.
I guess, being honest, I had known this for a while but why did I have this ephaniny now? as my thoughts drifted in and out of the conversation of the group with regard to these ladies and the “bargain prices” that were being offered for a lapdance (£40) and if you could offer them £50 for “an added extra”; I asked myself why I was here, in this pub drinking cheap rum and debating such interesting matters.
You see I could have been at home with the wife. Yes at home, with the wife and not in this pub, with these girls half my age, in various states of undress with exciting names like “Rogue” and drinking cheap rum. Sounds crazy doesn’t it? Even now writing this it does a little.
Do not get me wrong, marriage has not meant that I am under a curfew or I cannot go out (despite the popular belief) but there just seems more to life than Friday night in the local, debating why Rose the barmaid needs to have more buttons undone on her shirt or why Maria feels the need to Snapchat herself in the bath to a selection of us claiming it was a “hard week…please bring wine”.
I guess when you start viewing your life like this and these “bizarre” thoughts occur, that is when the change starts becoming apparent. If you need further evidence, then consider your aspirations at work and what matters to you.
It is all well and good when there is only you to think of. After all, promotion means a pay rise that equates to VIP at Mambo and maybe a faster car. However if you have met the right person and these thoughts start happening, suddenly going to Vegas with the boys is not what motivates you and something called “job security” comes into play.
Yes you still want the money, you want the pay rise but you do not want to lose the job you have (unless you get a better offer) and make sure you do well at work. You see working means that you can contribute to this new life you have, and that becomes really special to you.
Your aims and dreams become shared and you realise that there is more to life than living for the weekend and Rose’s buttongate or the summer in Ibiza. Shared aims, ideas or ambitions become important such as the garden being re-visited and turfed (where do you even go for that?) start to creep into your priorities.
If you are reading this and thinking “wow, what happened to him. I would never be like that” then sorry – you may be in the wrong relationship. Or maybe you are stuck in a mindset whereby you feel you have to be an Alpha male rather than take a chance on happiness, as pride / stubbornness says you are “a lad”.
Sure that has its place, but the right girl can get even the hardest players – it is just finding the right one to do this and it’s sad if you are married, but not here feeling this way and not seeing the change.
I can promise you this though, life is better when this happens. In answer to the final point, added extras were £60. Sadly. But I am told it was still a bargain although you could probably take Rose to dinner with that and she could be the beginning.